Thursday, April 16, 2009

Eggs , Tomatoes and now Shoes ..

ShoesThrowing shoes at leaders is becoming a rage now. Shoes have replaced eggs and tomatoes, to reach the prestigious position of " the most desirable thing to throw at leaders". Shoes have attained this pinnacle of glory, after a long stint as " the most desirable thing to make garlands, meant for the losing Indian Cricket side & Captain". One of the most significant reasons why, shoes are the most sought after defamation products is because they are as harmless as eggs and tomatoes. A Victim of a shoe-hit cannot sue you under " attempt to murder" of the Indian Penal Code. That saves you the risk of being in jail for a very long time. Moreover publicly-courteous leaders may not want you to be harmed and you may end up winning lakhs as cash awards.

With the rise of shoes, eggs and tomatoes have become obsolete. So, one obviously becomes curious about the future of this defamation trend line. I thought of a list of things which could possibly make shoes obsolete & which would aptly fit the bill of defamation materials, like :
  • Shoes with colour powder smeared on the sole, technically designed to form an imprint of the opposition's election symbol, if thrown accurately .
  • Underwears, which now are being couriered.
  • Balloons filled with apple juice, designed to burst on contact with the victim's face. A rocket launcher like thing is to be used to shoot the balloons, since it is highly improbable that a balloon thrown by hand will hit the victim & even if it hits, the victim will have enough time to run to the adjoining constituency before the balloon reaches him.
  • CD's of Windows Vista & hopefully Windows 7
  • Park Avenue's Tranquil deodorant. It smells worse than body odour.
  • Election Manifestos of the victim's party. ( I guess this could be the most insulting thing for a leader. )
Well, that was all i could get. Pl Comment if you have any other suggestions. Meanwhile news is just coming in that the Govt could impose a ban on wearing any sort of footwear in press conferences and public meetings. So my advice would be - " Make hay while the sun shines".



varunshridhar on 4/19/2009 9:53 AM said...

A bit late but a good post man! Shoe throwing might not book one for attempted murder but it might certainly buy a few days in jail being hit by our Indian policemen whose hit the whole country fears. :)
and what spray is that from Park Avenue? and how does Barkha Dutt's video fit in here. She's doin a pretty good job, isn't she?

Venkatesh G on 4/19/2009 12:48 PM said...

@ Varun Shridhar
Its never too late, we might witness two or more such incidents before these elections get over.
As far as tranquil is concerned, its a variant from the PA's range which sucks big time.
And about Barkha Dutt, she is a bit irritating at times.
I guess i will have to remove those lines...

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