Sunday, November 30, 2008

Karz the Boons ..

In Ancient Hindu Mythology, anybody around had the power to curse or grant a boon. It was a period, when the gods admired the demons for their intrinsic capability to cause havoc, their fashionable outfits and their vociferous leaders and when pleased with their tapas, used to grant them boons. Also this was a way they used to generate traffic in their abodes, which generally consisted of peeved saints and the ever-losing rulers of heaven.
So who used to govern these gods ? Had they any leaders ? And if so were they bound by some rules and regulations ?
I guess they hade some sort of association or some general body and were bound by regulations such as this.

Circular No : 789555 dt 12/12/-0012


Foreword :
The primary aim of granting a boon, is to prove our mettle to the devotees. So always make it a point, not to grant boons of a risky nature . We are stressing on this more often because we are witnessing bad choices of boons. None of us could forget, brihasura chasing Mr.Shiva to turn him into ashes. Only the glamorous Mohini ( Courtesy : Mr. Vishnu, present treasurer ), could save him. I feel disappointed to announce that Mr.Shiva has been suspended for 1 year for having violated a vital rule of this association viz;, "not to use any other god intentionally or unintentionally for one's operation".
In future, members are advised to grant boons which have a lot of loopholes, lest the demons will give you a big aaapu.

Procedure :
  • Wait for a demon who comes for his morning walk in the beach, to sleep in a standing position.
  • Spray some sea water on him, to see if he wakes up and if not wait for some more time.
  • Once it is ensured that he is in deep sleep, use the laser light in your hand and direct it to his eyes.
  • The Demon will obviously feel the pain and try to open his eyes. While he opens his eyes switch on the serial lights behind your head.
  • Tell him that you were pleased with his tapas.
  • While the demon is still sleepy and baffled, give him a boon of semi-mortality and leave the place in haste.
  • It is quite obvious that the demon will use the boon to a great extent and will torment the sadhus&saints.
  • Now the saints will come and meet you.
  • Tell them all wrong deeds are bound to be punished and the demon's death day ( alliteration intended kindly appreciate ) will be announced soon.
  • One Fine day, take advantage of the intended loopholes in your boon and finish the demon off.
  • Accept the accolades showered on you.
Any member who fails to pack off atleast three demons in a year, will be stripped off his membership.

Yours Sincerely,


( Chairman)

P.S by Author: Sorry for the spelling mistake in the title. [:8]. I am no Athiest and the above was just for fun.

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Sunday, November 02, 2008

Vacuum Series #1 :: Questioning the FM

( Introducing the vacuum series which will critically analyze current issues. The posts pertaining to the series will have tinge of emptiness in them, hence the name VACUUM SERIES. )

Innovations Unplugged proudly brings you the whole of the recent press meet of the Finance Minister Mr. Pithaambaram.
Unfortunately the whole of the press was not present on the eve of diwali owing to the discount sale in Saravana Stores and knee deep waters in most parts of Chennai.
Only journalist from Business Times and The Economic Line could  make it. 

BT & EL : Hello Sir !
FM  : Hello.  Shall we start with the proceedings then ?? First You.
BT   : Sir, it is only two of us. So we will take care.
FM  : Ya Ya. Were you not informed that it is an exclusive interview to you both ?      
EL   : Er .. Sir. We were .......... (pause) we were informed. So What do you have to say about the recent economic crisis and India's  prospects ?
FM  : All i want to say is that our fundamentals are strong and we will  grow around 8 %.
EL   : Sir, but that is what you said while the sensex took a beating some four months ago.
FM  : You are mistaken young man. Four months ago i predicted a growth of 8.09 %.
BT   : So You mean to say that not much has changed, even when the sensex has tanked some 10000 points.
FM  : Of course, things have changed. But with my line - up of corrective  measures i hope to restore the growth story and give some relief to Indian Stock Markets.
BT   : What sort of corrective measures sir ?
FM  : Firstly i have persuaded Sreedevi Textiles, to bring in their IPO at this juncture, which i hope will redirect all the middle class savings into Dalal Street and lead the sensex rally from 10000 to 25000+ points.
EL   : Sir, but sir .......... .
FM  : I know , i know.  "How investors would repose confidence in them" was your question right ?
People will definitely repose confidence in them even without venture capitalist, Thanks to their poweful brand ambassadors. ' Kathazha Kannala Snigdha' and 'I.T. Shaam of 12B fame'.
EL   :  Sir, but that was not my question. I just wanted to ask where Sreedevi Textiles is ? ?
FM  : I knew you would not be knowing because of your Bombay background. Ask My Anna Salai Friend next to you, he could tell you !! ( Laughs at his own joke ).
BT   : Most probably in Erode. ( turns around to the FM ) Sir and what was that I.T before Shaam. He is'nt I.T.Shaam i suppose ??
FM  : Well, it is Immediate Telecast Shyam.
EL   : Very well sir. You were talking about some line-up of corrective measures. May i know what the other  measures are ?                                       
FM  : I haven't really finalised the other corrective measures. But i have thought of asking banks to work even on sundays , so that there is no liquidity crunch. Also i have planned to persuade people to buy properties in the US in order to avoid Capital Gains Tax.
EL  : Sir, but how would the second proposal help ?
FM : Simple, demand for properties in the US would rise. Rates will go up, banks' position will better. Dow Jones will shoot up and Indian Stock Markets will follow suit. 
BT  : You  are indeed great sir. One more Question
FM : Yes Proceed .
BT  : When Avian Flu hit India some time ago, you beamed before the press ' I had boiled Chicken for Breakfast'. Though this statement was to mitigate public fear, some people started   rejoicing saying " Yipee !!! We are gonna have a new FM !! " . What do you have to say about this ?
FM : Those were rumours emanating from the Lotus Quarters. I cant waste time answering these questions. Pose some Sensible questions !!
BT : Well Sir, i am not prepared for more. I meant i haven't prepared for more questions.
EL  : Neither I ... Thanks for Sharing your time with us Sir.
FM : Pleasure is Mine. Bye ......
EL  : ( to BT ) Hmmm .. What are you gonna print tomorrow ?
BT  : Well ......" FM hopes to resurrect sensex with 12B Shaam " .... and what about you ???? 
EL   : I would prefer I.T Shaam to 12B Shaam. ... 
BT  : Ha Ha .....

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Hello Everybody. I am a student of Commerce with great interest for Blogging and Music. Blogs have always fascinated me & hence i am here to experiment a few things. Hope you enjoy my blogs.


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