Sunday, September 21, 2008

One day in a Metropolitan Bus . . .


Travelling by a metropolitan bus is not that agonising as widely apprehended.
Its fun, only if you stop fussing about the congestion and be a silent spectator to the events around you.
You can overhear phone conversations legitimately, watch quarrels for free, enjoy some rib-tickling visuals and get some F1 feel.

So lets start with the driver. All MTC drivers have this common syndrome called the 'GODLYMASSA'.
The syndrome derives it name from the fact that all MTC buses are omnipresent on all the lanes, just like god and the drivers emulate 'Felipe Massa'.
The classic touch comes when they overtake a vehicle from the left and turn around to us and say ' Eppadi povuthu paaru poramboke ? ', which in English means ' that gentleman hasn't got his driving lessons right!' ( this translation is for the benefit of my global readers ).
And not to mention how the drivers revere the traffic signals.
They have this common formula which is applied while in signals ::

Leaving that behind, lets get to the travelling part.
Getting a seat is quite a rare occurence,but suppose you get a seat by god's grace it is a different story altogether. You invariably end up sitting near a gentleman who has worked all night and is well deserving of a nap on your shoulder.
While the human brain weighs around 1300 gms, the we(i)ll groomed hair of this gentleman along with his brain would definitely weigh around 1400 gms (1300+100). If you are already thinking ' ah ! thats quite manageable' , then let me tell you that i haven't elaborated on the ' 200 ml castor oil' applied evenly on his head. In addition to all this, if the gentleman is under intoxication you will be left guessing the brand !!
Now let's move on to the guy in front of you. He is usually a middle aged curmudgeon, who is already late to an appointment. So this guy is called time and again over his phone and his whereabouts are enquired. And the reply to the enquiry is always like this:

Actual place + 20 kms - ( variation of 2 or 3 kms ) = Proximity which saves the appointment.

You could understand better if i give you an illustration

Koyambedu + 20 kms - 2 kms = Andhra Border. ( I cant appease my global readers with an equivalent here ).

With the advent of Korean technology, quarrels between commuters have got a background score. The penetration of the korean mobile sets in the society is so good that atleast one commuter in the bus owns one, and he always entertains himself with his favorite craps a.k.a tracks over the blaring sound system of the mobile. (kudos to korean technology ).
Ah! i left the duels unexplained.
In most cases it starts over a piece of baggage which is conveniently placed on the next fellow's feet. This acts as a fodder to the fight, wherein the father of the baggage holder and the grand parents of the other party are brought into the picture.
At the end of the journey when you alight at your stop, you are left smiling at the cheap behaviour of people.
IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR THE CONDUCTOR'S PORTION, I AM SORRY. I MOST OFTEN TRAVEL WITHOUT A TICKET, SO ITS BEEN LONG I INTERACTED WITH ONE.
AND I BEING A ETHICAL BLOGGER WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WITHOUT PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE.

Cheers.

9 comments:

pramod on 9/22/2008 6:12 PM said...

smashing one da..
but i dont bliv that u travel without a ticket..
u r a responsible citizen like me..
and ppl..he will walk all the way...but wont get into bus without a ticket..can bet on that..

Venkatesh G on 9/22/2008 10:26 PM said...

Ha ha ... thanks for the 'responsible citized' tag.
i was just kidding.
Happy that you read my posts fully.

pramod on 9/27/2008 5:31 PM said...

the next words wer.."LIKE ME"
:-)

viswajith.k.n on 10/07/2008 11:19 PM said...

stunning post...cha I wonder how come I missed writing on the MTC buses!

Brainstormer on 10/08/2008 2:56 AM said...

Lol!!.. The best blog on public transport i've ever read!

Rahul on 10/08/2008 6:32 PM said...

Awesome Hilarious blog.. You left out the fact of the people who are standing and sleeping on the MTC buses.. :D .. I was one of them.

Venkatesh G on 10/08/2008 9:11 PM said...

@ Viswajith , Brainstormer and Rahul


Thank You Dudes.

varunshridhar on 4/17/2009 11:00 PM said...

neat write up Venketesh! Good insight on the situation. If you're pretty serious about this problem, I'd suggest you quite a serious follow up: http://bitterscotch.wordpress.com/2008/12/15/kickstarting-the-chennai-bus-route-mapping-project/

Happy reading and continue the good job.

Cheers

Venkatesh G on 4/18/2009 11:40 AM said...

@ Varun Shridhar
Ya thanks dude.

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Hello Everybody. I am a student of Commerce with great interest for Blogging and Music. Blogs have always fascinated me & hence i am here to experiment a few things. Hope you enjoy my blogs.

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