Doggy Blues !!

Street Dogs can drive you crazy, just like bosses drive you out of your mind.
But the former are better in a way because they don't give you lectures of this sort ::
" When i was like you, i used to meet deadlines well in advance. My attitude was comparable to Gordon Brown's way of tackling the credit crisis rather than the Henry Paulson way of yours."

Sometimes a drilling maching is quite bearable than your boss. After hearing to the above lecture if you by any chance hear the sound of a drilling machine, it will sound like Beethoven's Symphony No.9 ( If you are a XP user, go to your sample music, because that is where i heard it ). Thank God, i have no such troubles or deadlines to meet.
Uh huh! i am digressing. So what was the focus ? Ah yes, it was why do street dogs aptly suit the phrase - " Rude Boys naangal King of the streets !! "

So i went on to analyze why street dogs chase and bite people mindlessly.My analysis culminated in five fantastic points which could assure you some safety with regard to these canines.

1. Dogs primarily are averse to sharing their meal with you. So Avoid them while they are eating.
2. Never advance menacingly towards a dog or hurt a dog with or without your knowledge. For Eg. Stepping on a dog's feet in the process of looking at the girl next door means you will end up losing some flesh ( from your thighs), the qty of which is directly proportional to the circumference of the dog's mouth and the tensile strength of it's teeth.
3. Would you like third party company in your bedroom .... hmmm .. I think that would suffice.
4. Never pass by when two dogs are establishing their supremacy over one another before a bitch. You could become the boxing ring.
   
5. Never drive by a dog in a moped which has an engine potent enough to make it virtually insane. Imagine Listening to this song, it is the same way for those poor canines.

If possible see all the three below youtube videos in sequence,
I'm sure they will make your day week
Video 1
Video 2
Video 3

Musically Yours,
AIU

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Blooper Series - # 2

LET GOD BE WITH US.

( The above stuff as many would know is not indigenous, but as it was irresistible i posted it )

Cheers

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One day in a Metropolitan Bus . . .

Travelling by a metropolitan bus is not that agonising as widely apprehended.
Its fun, only if you stop fussing about the congestion and be a silent spectator to the events around you.
You can overhear phone conversations legitimately, watch quarrels for free, enjoy some rib-tickling visuals and get some F1 feel.

So lets start with the driver. All MTC drivers have this common syndrome called the 'GODLYMASSA'.
The syndrome derives it name from the fact that all MTC buses are omnipresent on all the lanes, just like god and the drivers emulate 'Felipe Massa'.
The classic touch comes when they overtake a vehicle from the left and turn around to us and say ' Eppadi povuthu paaru poramboke ? ', which in English means ' that gentleman hasn't got his driving lessons right!' ( this translation is for the benefit of my global readers ).
And not to mention how the drivers revere the traffic signals.
They have this common formula which is applied while in signals ::

Leaving that behind, lets get to the travelling part.
Getting a seat is quite a rare occurence,but suppose you get a seat by god's grace it is a different story altogether. You invariably end up sitting near a gentleman who has worked all night and is well deserving of a nap on your shoulder.
While the human brain weighs around 1300 gms, the we(i)ll groomed hair of this gentleman along with his brain would definitely weigh around 1400 gms (1300+100). If you are already thinking ' ah ! thats quite manageable' , then let me tell you that i haven't elaborated on the ' 200 ml castor oil' applied evenly on his head. In addition to all this, if the gentleman is under intoxication you will be left guessing the brand !!
Now let's move on to the guy in front of you. He is usually a middle aged curmudgeon, who is already late to an appointment. So this guy is called time and again over his phone and his whereabouts are enquired. And the reply to the enquiry is always like this:

Actual place + 20 kms - ( variation of 2 or 3 kms ) = Proximity which saves the appointment.

You could understand better if i give you an illustration

Koyambedu + 20 kms - 2 kms = Andhra Border. ( I cant appease my global readers with an equivalent here ).

With the advent of Korean technology, quarrels between commuters have got a background score. The penetration of the korean mobile sets in the society is so good that atleast one commuter in the bus owns one, and he always entertains himself with his favorite craps a.k.a tracks over the blaring sound system of the mobile. (kudos to korean technology ).
Ah! i left the duels unexplained.
In most cases it starts over a piece of baggage which is conveniently placed on the next fellow's feet. This acts as a fodder to the fight, wherein the father of the baggage holder and the grand parents of the other party are brought into the picture.
At the end of the journey when you alight at your stop, you are left smiling at the cheap behaviour of people.
IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR THE CONDUCTOR'S PORTION, I AM SORRY. I MOST OFTEN TRAVEL WITHOUT A TICKET, SO ITS BEEN LONG I INTERACTED WITH ONE.
AND I BEING A ETHICAL BLOGGER WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING WITHOUT PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE.

Cheers.

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Blooper Series

"In the first place, I would like to apologize to the millions of netizens who thronged my blog in search of another masterpiece during these days of inactivity. All I want to tell them is that masterpieces always take time".


That is what I would be posting in a year from now and also that was what I thought last year.

Well before you start frowning ( or if you have already started, cease there ), I thought of sharing some bloopers with you, entirely indigenous stuff. So enjoy.





If you have got such indigenous stuff, mail me at zizou21soccer@yahoo.co.in.
I will ensure that it is posted with your name and url.*

Cheers


*Subject to Quality control.

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Review :: The Trust Vote

I call it a review because it had all saleable elements of a perarasu movie ( if you do not know him – click here ) and an adrenaline rushing Bond Movie. It is also comparable to our daily soaps as this has been going for years now.

Film : The Trust Vote

Genre: Everything except romance

Producer: Exchequer

Director: Only God Knows.

The Review ::

The trust vote does not fall short of the expectations of millions of Indians. It was the most entertaining thing on television any Indian could have tuned in on July 22. So What makes it so entertaining? Let's Analyze.

Plot:

The UPA government led by Manmohan Singh decides to face the Trust vote after the Left parties withdraw support citing the Government’s adamant attitude to proceed with the nuclear deal.

The left’s argument that only they can be senseless and the deal by the government is a violation of their copyright is beautifully portrayed in the events leading to the trust vote.

The story then cuts to the Lok Sabha where members of the [UPA+SP] and the opposition { NDA + [ Left + BSP + JD(U) …… ] } are seated. Everybody in the opposition camp is tensed while the UPA constituents are far less tensed. The reason for which is unraveled in a thrilling drama before first half.

The Honourable ‘Spaker’ ( as fondly called by Yerran Naidu ) tries to conduct discussions on the trust vote which causes a pandemonium in the lower house. While the events till here are predictable and are marked by boring dialogues, they get spiced up when the ‘sadhu-all-these-days’ PM delivers his punch dialogues on the deal accurately. Though the last part of the speech is marred by protests, the PM succeeds in taking a dig at LK Advani who fails to impress.

While the Speaker is busy taming members, the story takes a dramatic turn when three BJP men walk with piles, heaps (whatever u call) of money. They allege that they had been bribed by the SP. While the audience is addled as to why these guys took money in the first place, the Speaker assures that proper enquiry will be done and that LAW WILL TAKE ITS COURSE.

What follows is an even more thrilling and entertaining second half wherein every member supporting the government, talks about how the NDA had demeaned the Indian Parliament. While the story lacks pace for a while, it becomes racy towards the climax with the initiation of the voting process by the speaker. The Speaker instructs the MPs on what the four buttons before them mean. Fear looms large over the MPs as they are not so adept at technology and voting for the opposite side will endanger their livelihood.

In such a scenario, the voting takes place , the UPA wins and they celebrate.

In such a commercial entertainer, Rahul Gandhi and Omar Abdullah drive home a message. The Story ends with the song ‘ Singh is King’ aired on all news channels.

Which singh ( Amar or Manmohan ) ? is left to the discretion of the audience !!

Verdict - Excellent Entertainer

Stars - ****

What our Stars mean:

* - Proper conduct of members
** - Walkout
*** - Staging protest outside the House
**** - Displaying cash in the house
***** - Attacking Fellow members or the speaker

Note :: A Suggestion to the FM
If events like this have ad slots in the lok sabha TV , the fiscal deficit can be narrowed. Such is the TRP they get!!!

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